All posts tagged Christmas

Overspending Is In The Air

Published December 1, 2017 by sarcasmica

It’s that time of year again! Rejoice! For unto the earth a credit limit is reached. Mom guilt, peer expectations, and childhood emotional baggage all crammed into one joyous day month.

It seems it’s been 17 days since my last post. It’s taken nearly this long to recover from the loose tooth drama. We have a magnificent, fantastic angel of a dentist for my daughter. They managed to squeeze us in first thing in the morning on Thanksgiving eve eve. My daughter was LIVID that I had made the appointment. Nobody really cared how mad she was, though. We all just wanted to get to Thanksgiving intact, ears/hearing at 100%, and all actually liking each other.

The dentist numbed my kid’s face, cleaned the 1/4 of her mouth she had been neglecting to touch with her toothbrush, and barely breathed onto her mouth when POP! The offending dangler popped right out. Next she told my daughter, “Let me have your hand so you can feel how clean your tooth – WHOA! You pulled it right out! Look at that!” and hysteria-type giggles came from my child’s nitris masked face.

We all breathed a sigh of relief. The grand finale was the doc telling me she wont go through any more loose teeth until around 9 years old. WOOO HOO!!!!! SURELY she will be beyond the paranoid hysterics by then, right?!! We wont even fathom understanding the hormones that will be trickling into her body by that time.

Thanksgiving conquered, now we move toward Christmas. Oh holy night. My kids have been circling toy catalogs and amazon dreaming since November 24th. When my sis in-law asked what the kids put on their Christmas list, it occurred to me to actually dig the catalogs out of the trash and take a look. What a concept! The short answer of what they circled is just “everything”.

I cannot blame them. They are kids! Every Christmas we tend to go all out. I wont apologize for it, but it is a spectacle. It’s also setting everyone up for eventual disappointment. See, I grew up without much money. Christmas was humble in our house, to say the least. It was happy, it was fun, it was normal for me. This crap i’ve grown into is a bit alien. It’s fun because we know it wont last. Each Christmas for the past 2 or 3 i’ve reminded my husband it might be the last our son still believes in Santa.

Sure enough, we had the talk this summer after his on and off asking about the truth. (pretty sure there’s a blog post about it somewhere) So now this year it’s just my daughter drinking the kool aid eggnog. My son has managed not to spill the beans holly about Santa yet. I’m proud of him for that. The amount of winking he’s done lately is enough to drive me batty, though. “Mom, tell SAAAANTAAAAA *wink wink* I want this one.” Now that I think about it, if my daughter doesn’t pick up on this I might worry about her IQ.

Anyway, so we are in a new neighborhood this year. Halloween rocked, and it looks like twice as many people have decorated for Christmas. Who knows, I might start chugging the kool aid and bake something to give away!

Hahahahaaaaa. Yea right. I’ll hand out little travel bottles of liquor. I bet people would actually consume those.


Eve of Santa

Published December 25, 2014 by sarcasmica

It hasn’t felt much like Christmas this year. Not any one specific reason, just a lot of bickering from the kids, trouble from the big one, family stresses, life, blah blah blah. But here i lay at 12 am Christmas morning (officially) and i’m looking forward to all the morning excitement.

I found myself resenting the competition with Santa as I was tagging the gifts tonight. Why does he get all the good stuff? He gets to take credit for the assembly of the worst instructions for the biggest toys! He gets credit for knowing exactly what the kids wanted/needed while mom and dad get to play second fiddle and take credit for socks and underwear! At least we get the goodies. Santa always arrives too late at our house to partake before the hubbster and i help ourselves to the cookies. 😋

I find myself anxious on Christmas Eve quite often. I look forward to the year i’m happy with the house decorations, happy with what i pick for my husband, and the kids. Secure i’ve gotten the right amount of gifts for my spoiled kids.

Let me tell you. I totally understand my kids are spoiled. Here’s a tidbit back to you if you find that repulsive: they would be pains whether they opened an extra Lego toy on Christmas or not! I had plenty of dust bunny Christmases and i still turned out selfish and bratty, so i just enjoy being able to give them what i can now. Who knows what next Christmas will bring?

So here I am wondering if I got the Santa/parent tag ratio just right, and the brother/sister ratio even. You and I both know that abacus will be tallying the spreadsheet in my 8 yr old’s head of who got how many whatses.

My answer will be, “Remember when you wanted to talk back so much more than zipping your lip? There ya go. One present into the ‘Santa ether’. Poof!”

What a well of Holiday Spirit here in Sarcasmicaville, eh?! That lucky family of mine!

I hope all my readers have a wonderful Christmas with their loved ones, and the children give you at least an hour of blissful contended quiet play time with their loot so you can suck down a hot cup of Christmas morning coffee before jumping up and happily slaving away all day so everyone around you can enjoy a feet-up-and-feed-me holiday!

Merry Christmas everyone!

*cheers & clink*

..*clink clink rattle*


New ‘hood

Published December 20, 2013 by sarcasmica

We are in the new place now and things are going great. Despite still living around boxes, everyone has adjusted fabulously.
During our first move day, a few neighbors came over to introduce themselves, and I had an inkling of panic that i’d screw up the whole first impression thing
-apparently there’s only one first impression to screw up –
My husband was with me, and for whatever lame reason, i have less verbal diarrhea when he’s with me. I did manage to stick my foot in my mouth once, but in general it was poo-free. Today, however, was my first solo flight with one of the neighbor ladies. I spent the drive to the store after our conversation shaking my head and imagining kicking myself in the ass.
I think its a clinical problem at this point.
I have realized there is actually a point in the conversation when the other person has realized they are embarrassed for you. This woman has had this look twice now. Once during the neighbor introductions when she was kind enough to give us an advent calendar for the kids, and i was so flustered i said something to the effect of, “thank you, that is so nice! they will be so excited since i refused to add to our amount of ‘stuff’.” To which she apologized for complicating our move.
I tried to repair the damage, but I usually just end up making it worse.
So today she offered us some dog treats and invited us to a last minute Christmas party they are having. I have no idea what i was blathering on about, but I saw ‘the look’ and just tried to seal the pie hole before it got worse. Its like some latent social awkwardness. As i age, it gets worse. The good news is that she continues to come around so either she’s incredibly tolerant of awkward anti-socialites, or she is beginning to appreciate watching me squirm, im glad I have a chance to redeem myself. Lets hope the increased amount of people around us and the presence of my husband and kids dampens my need to blurt and say any random facts or tidbits that pop into my head.
In general it seems i’ve reached the limits of my tolerance for stress. I have felt pressure to create some sort of holiday cheer in the house so my kids arent shocked and terrified when the jolly fat man in the red suit pops by to drop gifts down the chimney. We got the tree up a few days ago, and today i plugged in 2 of our inflatable lawn dudes. I had to move a mountain of boxes off the porch first, but i did it. I also made beef stew in the crock pot and brownies! My husband nearly keeled over when he walked in the house today. My response was to bite his head off when he suggested I let our son have a brownie on the way to OT tonight.
All of the things i still need to do tackled a natural response of, “I’d love to, but they havent finished cooling off yet.” and instead allowed my impulsive nonsensical emotions bulldoze him after trying to cut a not-yet-cooled brownie and it turned to mush. My reaction was to laser-beam him with my angry irrational wife eyes and comment on how I was stupid to attempt it.
One of my other personalities followed that up with, “what’s up? whats wrong?!” to my wise husband who apparently is so practiced he just feigned “nothing…i’m fine”.
I reflected on the long drive to occupational therapy that it seems my tolerance and limits have been reached. All the things i was hoping to have done and complete by now. The move in, the christmas shopping, the house prep, the move out of the last place, our spa has stopped being useful, i have nothing prepared for my son’s teachers or support staff, how many people do i have to give something to, can i make the brownies in time and will it be ‘enough’.
My brain is now acting out on my behalf. If you know me and/or are in my vicinity, i apologize for whatever i may say or do to piss you off or offend you.
Oh yea, and Merry Christmas!

ps. i have been repeatedly appreciative the last week that i never began the Elf on the Shelf nonsense. That f*cker would have sent me over the edge weeks ago!

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