All posts tagged Disneyland

Post Ears

Published March 3, 2016 by sarcasmica

My daughter and I had the best vacation ever.

Like, totally.

We have a long history with Disney. My son’s first trip was when he was only about 3 months old. We were in town for my friend’s wedding and she wanted to go to Disney in lieu of a bachelorette party. Needless to say he wasn’t too excited about Space Mountain at that time.

Cut to when he’s 3 ish. We went with my mom and brothers and truthfully, I only remember him melting down at the end of the day as we were walking towards Autopia. My oldest brother ended up trying to carry a kicking screaming child.

The next visit I was about 7 months pregnant. My 4 year old child had an EPIC meltdown because he could not ride in the front of the It’s A Small World boat.

He was ranting and rolling and screaming on the bench of the second row. Yes… that’s right.. this evil witch of a mom actually expected him to compromise and ride in row 2.

We haven’t been back to that ride since.

Next up, we went back when my daughter was nearly 3. She got croup, ended the first day with vomiting all over her stroller and favorite blanket and spiked a fever. The second day we ventured out late because the fever was gone, the coast seemed clear, and we went just to make the already reserved Princess Lunch at Ariell’s Grotto. Everything seemed fine until we sat down. After the first course, the Princesses began floating out, at the start of the second course my daughter ralphed all over the table and plates. We frightened and shocked Belle.

I spent the rest of that day in the hotel with a child who was obviously sick, but was showing no consistent signs of what was wrong.

The third day we took it easy and actually got to walk the board walk at CA Adventures and my son won a big Dumbo for his sister. After landing back at home, we headed straight to the Urgent Care where we found out she had croup. (and has had it every year since)

This visit was highlighted by the fact that we understood my son had sensory issues that would not at all tolerate long hot close-quarter lines and fast rides. We had a pass that got us on rides quickly, but by no means did he want to ride anything faster than a ferris wheel. We stuck to dark rides, Dumbo, and the only relatively adventurous ride was Star Tours. He actually loved that one. I bribed him to try out Indiana Jones, and he wasted no time disembarking while telling me how much he hated it. Too loud. Too jerky. Too fast.

Last year we were fortunate to make a trip to Orlando where we went to Disney World for the first time and also Universal for Harry Potter. My daughter puked the night we got there. She was ok each day at the park, however. It helped we were there multiple days so we were able to take it easy each day and not rush around. We used the pass for my son again, and had to stay with the calmer less- fun exciting rides.

This year when I had an opportunity to take just my daughter to Disneyland I jumped at it. She’s 5 now, and she’s 46 inches. I talked to my son and asked if he’d like to go with us. His response, “No offense, mom, but I think i’m too old for Disneyland.”

I’m working on his DNA testing now.

I tried not to get too excited at the possibility of taking a child who actually loves and can tolerate fast rides. A child I didn’t have to manage the. entire. time. A child I didn’t have to worry about, check in with, shield, compromise with, urge, encourage, praise, help, assist, bribe. And let me tell you, I love my son to pieces,¬† but as an avid Disneyland-a-holic, each trip before was painful and just frustrating. I just had to worry about her barfing her guts out. That I can handle, apparently.

My daughter was STOKED to go on real actual live roller coasters! She had been telling everyone all week, “I’m even big enough for SPACE MOUNTAIN!!” (having no clue what that actually was)

We did Big Thunder Mountain right when we got there. I couldn’t tell if she liked it because she just sat in her seat holding on and not making a peep. Meanwhile, I’m hootin & hollering and screaming. We get back to the station and she says, “I am NOT riding the Matterhorn.” despite assuring me she had a lot of fun … ??

We did all the rides before tackling Space Mountain. I wanted to #1 make sure i wasn’t going to need to catch barf, and #2 make sure she could handle it.

I saw the wait was “only” an hour, so we headed into line. In my 39 years on this planet going to Disneyland the line for Space Mountain is never less than 90 minutes. After 25 min in line, the ride broke down.


She assured me she wanted to stay in line and wait with all the other queue-ers who waited. 10 more minutes and she was crrrrrrrying her feet were hurting. I couldn’t help my 60lb, 46 inch 5 year old because my old ass was hurting from the day’s rides. Matterhorn jacked my back up something fierce. We must have waited a total of an hour before they reopened the ride. The joy that erupted from that line was palpable.

We walked straight down the gang plank and my daughter says, “This is a sit down ride, right?” No more questions asking how fast the ride was and if she’d be scared. She just wanted to sit. We could have ridden a venom-spitting tarantula at that point and she would have been ok with it.

“Yes, it’s a sit down ride.”

We sat, we lap barred, we took off, and for the first time that day she screamed and giggled and whooped and laughed and screamed and shouted. We ended that ride with the biggest grin, the highest excited jumps, and the best reaction ever. “LET’S GO AGAIN!!”

I would have bought the picture they take mid-ride, but all of my own screaming resulted in a cough right as the camera snapped the pic. It was less than flattering.

As we left the building and store, the fireworks show was in progress and we got to see the last half from behind the Matterhorn.

Totally awesome.

We managed to make it all the way until the last parade. We even had seats along the curb, but she was falling asleep and I couldn’t push my luck any further. We loaded onto the tram where my precious adventurous wonderful girl fell asleep so hard, she only had one eye closed while the other one rolled around and her head lolled down onto her own lap.

All signs of a day at Disneyland that will never be forgotten.









Ice Queens & Tuberculosis

Published January 17, 2015 by sarcasmica

I took my daughter to a birthday party today. (Saturday)

*mic drop*

Just kidding *picks mic up elegantly*

It was a Princess party. Our first. All the kids had the option of arriving in their own princess dresses.

Oddly, I saw no boys from my daughter’s predominantly boy class there. I guess they don’t appreciate a nice bodice cut or puffy sleeves like their 4/5 yr old counterparts.

Anyway, my kid has been sick with her croup cough for almost a full week now. Admittedly its been far less traumatic than the November bout. She’s not been coughing through the night as of 2 nights ago but still does during the day.

So she’s been back to school just one day before this party today. We arrive, we make a tiara, we smack balloons around. I try to make polite conversation with strangers while my kid runs around their home. I notice the women wearing their very pink and brand new babies and try to steer my very own ‘Patient Zero’ (as her dad so affectionately calls her) clear of them.

Then the stars arrive! The actual real Anna and Elsa are at this party! Anna must have had an accident at some point because she’s missing a tooth, and due to the stress of the incident, Elsa has gained some weight. No one told her dress, though.

It appears they had a run in with a make up delivery truck between Arrendelle and Washington also because, Damn!

There were stories, there were “warm hugs” and pin the nose on Olaf. Elsa even did some face painting. I guess that was the other craft she honed locked away in her room for ten years.

My daughter had a great time. “Snow much fun” as “Mac Elsa” actually said.

Then the real coughing began. Parents were asking if my kid was ok. … to which i never know how to respond to. “No, but whats a little tuberculosis spread around, eh?” or “Yes. Turning red from coughing is just her party trick.” She likes to get herself to the brink of puking and then pull back. She’s a 4 year old thrill junkie.

Elsa must’ve got the memo from the other Princesses at Disneyland that my kid likes vomiting in the presence of royalty because she had her lip curled and one foot ready to bolt anytime my kid came near her for the rest of the night.

Truthfully she was not contagious, it’s just a terrible sounding lingering cough. She’s getting over croup, for godsakes!

I did feel bad, but what do i do, have her miss the party even though she wasnt sick? I feel like when parents ask, “Is she ok?!” They are really saying, “Let me get your keys for you, crazy parent, take your sick kid home!”

So we stayed just until we could both inhale some chocolate cake and left before the fork hit the plate.

I don’t think Anna minded, but that may have just been the meth talking.


Published September 4, 2013 by sarcasmica

Sometimes I wish i had more of a con artist heart… but alas, it’s just not in me. At least, not on a large scale. I sent Disneyland an email about our park experience. I lauded them with praise for the access pass they allow for kids that need some special assistance. Also, for finding and mailing my daughter’s park-purchased new toy. However, I was honest about my frustration and disappointment with the witch-faced cast member that did not do anything to assist me in leaving something for my mom to grab while i took my barfy kid back to the hotel.

From this, I was told I needed to speak to the claims dept. I asked why, and fully admitted that I didn’t blame Disneyland for my kid getting sick. He told me i should just bring it to their attention and speak with someone.


So i was patched through.

This poor woman I was handed to was in much need of an extended coffee break. Like a two week coffee break… or perhaps retirement. I can’t imagine the amount of bitching calls she must get on a daily basis. Then there’s me. Confused and unsure as to what i’m even supposed to tell her. She immediately began taking down my information and asked about details of our vacation. I had to stop her to ask what the point was since I wasn’t holding Disneyland responsible.

See, if i were a little more wicked, i could have tried to milk it for all it was worth… like a re-do. Like another trip!! I could have insisted that it was THEIR fault i had to subject my poor kid to TWO Urgent Care visits and it ruined our trip completely.

So i ended up just sputtering out that I was mad we had to pay for our Princess lunch when all we ate was a weird appetizer and none of the actual food. I just got a lot of “mm hmm”s and “uh huh”s out of her. I took that as a challenge, so i made a joke about scaring poor Sleeping Beauty and was rewarded with a chuckle.

So i hung up after being told someone would contact me further once my information was passed along.

I feel equal parts guilty and stupid for not taking full advantage of this opportunity. I instantly thought about the day I lost sitting in the hotel room with her while my mom had actually paid for three full days for MY ticket (since my 2 yr old was free) and i really only used 2 days worth.

We all know that park makes money hand over fist by the second, so what’s the big deal?

I’m still shocked they even go out of their way to fix every single situation you bring to them. I mean, they DO make money regardless, so to find a company that is so overboard (in a positive way) with customer service is so refreshing and surprising, i guess my brain is taking a while to catch up. I’m not used to operating with my defenses down.

So for all of you out there bummed that your kid got sick on vacation at Disneyland, if you inform them that you feel your kid became ill because of the park, it seems they do what they can to rectify that situation…. i have yet to see what that means, but the fact i was urged to follow through from their own customer relations dept is still baffling.

the saga continues


Disney 3 (aren’t i done yet?!)

Published August 26, 2013 by sarcasmica

The further I get from the trip, the less I remember… i’m trying to pound out these posts while still getting stuff done around the house.


So Day 1 at the park was fantastic. The kids were marvelous and amazed, as they should be. We hit CA Adventures first since i hadn’t been since it first opened, and my mom had never been. It was a great park for the little ones. I’d say the one thing to steer clear of is the Bugs Life 3-D experience. It is L-O-U-D and there’s a part where Hopper the bad guy is out and angry. The theater goes dark and loud, and then there are large black widows over head with lots of smoke machines.

This was not the highlight for my kids, to say the least. Otherwise, there were small rides, there was splash pads, it was great. To complete the first day there, my brother insisted on my mom and I going on Tower of Terror. We had no clue what we were in for, and I thought my mom was going to pee her pants after the first drop. .. in fact, i’m not certain she didn’t. I certainly was in jeopardy! That¬† shit was cray cray !!

In the afternoon, we headed to Disneyland. It was oddly empty for a summer Sunday. We could not believe walking up to the Haunted Mansion and just getting straight in. The only thing more amazing was seeing “Wait Time 5 minutes” for Pirates of the Caribbean. My daughter absolutely loved Pirates – which she has since renamed Ho Ho The Pirates – and we rode it a total of three or four times over the course of the three days, i think. She was a bit terrified on Haunted Mansion, but I have to say. After each ride, she was a bit scared or unsure, and then halfway through the rides she would pay attention, and then by the time we had to get off it was, “I wanna do it again!!” And we had the small disagreement that we couldn’t just jump right back on.

I had a special pass that I requested from Guest Services based on my sons issues with sensory processing. His OT thought it was a fantastic idea, and i have to say it was a life saver. It made it so the park was equally fun for my kid. He didn’t have the added anxiety of the line, spending the whole time in line getting worked up about the safety of the ride, or how fast it was, or how scary or unscary. He didn’t have the added pressure of a closed-in line where you have to be 100% in charge of your body and impulses for longer than 10 minutes. There are many many reasons this pass was invaluable, but just the sheer fact that he enjoyed every minute of that experience and was so excited and open to going back and doing things over and over spoke volumes about the necessity of it.

Day 1 wrapped with another trip to CA Adventures after a 2/2.5hr nap and break back at the hotel. We rode the Monsters Inc ride (a FAV of all the kids) and had to endure a little of the Mad T Party which was a loud concert by a cover band – who was actually pretty damn good. There were glow cube adult beverages and after my brother and Sis in Law and myself had one or three, we were ready to watch fireworks at DLand in the company of a corn dog. We finished out the evening at 10:30 riding Dumbo and the carousel. I’d like to say i’ll never forget that night. .. but i can’t remember what i wore yesterday, so i make no guarantees. That’s why i have this blog and pictures!

Day 2 was when things started getting rough. People had hangovers. My brother had to check out of his room and start thinking about work the next day and heading home. My kids were on a bit of a Disney hangover as well. The park was MUCH MUCH more crowded and i was very happy to have our handy dandy pass. We were able to stand in the fast pass lines, or just gain access through the exits. My son got to ride Star Tours while my daughter napped in the shade and I people watched and FB-d on my phone. He LOVED it! We did the rockets, and got a snack. We had a fun break at the hotel that involved swimming and trying out my christmas water-proof cam corder. In hindsight i’m not sure how much of a break we had, but the kids had fun and there weren’t any crowds involved. We walked Downtown Disney and got a sandwich. My daughter was looking kind of tired and worn out, but she was game for anything. Once we got back to the park we walked around, I did Indiana Jones with my son – another fail for him. He hated it – and parked the stroller and did Pirates. Turns out you do NOT want to park your stroller near Pirates right before Fantasmic. The employees move and rearrange all the strollers and could give a flying Mickey that you wanted it somewhere specific so you could remember when you came back from the ride where your wheels with your kid’s favorite blanket was parked.

We decided to sit and get a beignet and hot chocolate while we waited for the show to end and reclaim the stroller.

The longest wait of the whole trip. Astounding! My mom stood there waiting for her order for over 20 minutes. It was ridiculous.

I find my stroller after the show, we walk around and decide to high tail it out of there. Somewhere along the process of the day, my daughter lost a toy my mom bought for her and i figured i’d register it with Guest Services on the way out. The line was not long. I felt a bit stupid standing there with people who had lost something of value like drivers licenses and wallets. I felt stupid until someone at the front of the line was handed her kid’s three princess dolls that had been found and she literally ran away from the window with glee to the applause of the line.

I had hope!

20 minutes later it’s now 10:45 and my turn. I just get to the window, give him the story, he checks ‘the back’ and comes up empty handed. My son runs over to me shouting, “Gemma threw up! Gemma is throwing up in the stroller!!” I scribbled my info down and apologized and ran off to clean up partially digested beignet and hot chocolate.

We got back to the hotel after stopping at a blessed little shop that had various children’s medications and cheap knock off souvenirs. I dosed my kid with Children’s Advil and proceeded to watch her until 2:30 am go through a gamut of feverish symptoms. Around 2:30am I fell asleep for the duration.

7am we all woke up bright eyed and not quite bushy tailed. My daughter seemed great that morning, fever was gone, and she was ready to go. We had our Princess Luncheon at Ariel’s Oasis and we couldn’t wait! I kept a keen eye on her and we took it easy all morning until the lunch. To keep her happy she had a green sucker which didn’t help the look of her lips and face before the Princess pics were snapped. We all head in and prepare for our fancy lunch. My daughter is oddly not touching any of the food. She keeps coughing, though. I switch out her milk for something easier on her cough. We get through the first course with her nibbling crumbs and eagerly watching for a tiara or sash. A cryer announces the arrival of Cinderella and the excitement is ON. We get a good pic, my daughter again checks Cindy’s shoes, and we sit to wait for Princess #2. My daughter turns to the table, begins coughing, and proceeds to hurl all over the table.

Cloth napkins do nothing for spills. I was in a really really really bad Opposite Ad for Ariel’s Luncheon. It was one of those parenting moments you dread. I felt absolutely helpless. I manage to push all the liquid into a secure little pool on her side of the table. My son is gagging. My daughter wretches again. All over her chair and the floor. In my head i’m hearing choruses of “EEEEewwwweeeee, mommy, LOOOOK! That girl threw up!!”

In reality i’m sure no one was noticing because that’s when Aurora/Sleeping Beauty makes her entrance.

She’s on my lap now. I’m crying. She’s crying. My mom is close to tears trying to hold it all together. My son is holding up his napkin so as not to see the third course my daughter has served all over our table. Finally a bus boy comes and dumps hamster shavings all over the table assuring us it will absorb the smell.

Aurora shows up at the table looking like someone just shat upon her crown.

In her most brave princess voice, “Oh no .. is she ok? Would you like me to …. come back … later ?” and it’s a bit vague in my mom-brain, but i think my daughter wretched her third time after this offer.

Apparently Aurora saw an escape and took it faster than a prince to an unconscious teenager.

I was so sad for my daughter to miss this experience. I was sad to wreck the experience of those around us. I was helpless I didn’t have my own supplies to wipe away, clean, and disinfect our area and my kid. I didn’t know what was causing her sickness, so i couldn’t cure it. She had no fever, she had no other symptoms.

We wait for the geyser to officially stop and decide the next princess was safe. Belle bravely stood as close as her hoop skirt and heels would allow to get a picture with my little barfy kid. After this my daughter asked to go back to the room. She wanted to leave. I obliged. I realized after leaving i had my son’s pass in my purse. I stop at Guest Services to leave it for my mom to pick up later and am given an unimaginably hard time by a certain cast member who’s eyeballs I wanted to reach through the Mickey head opening and rip out with my fingernails.

She refused to let me leave it and said my mom would have to take my son and go get a new pass issued. She was arguing with me that she was already in the park with him, so it was OBVIOUSLY unnecessary for her to have it. It was not an urgent matter, and she was not obligated or authorized to hold ‘personal items’ for guests.

I. Was. Livid.

I ended up just handing the pass to my mom who walked out to meet me by the time i was done arguing with Becky Bitchface. I walked back to the room and tried to take my daughter from the stroller to the bed for a proper nap. She woke up and for the next three hours refused to lay down, take a nap, stay quiet and still. She seemed to feel much better after puking.

We stayed in the room and played until my mom made it back with my son. They were able to go on more rides and have fun. It was our last night and we wanted to end on a high note, so once we decided my daughter was fine, we dressed her in PJs and walked the boardwalk in CA Adventures and managed to make the best of the situation. She mostly stayed in the stroller, but we got to go on Monsters Inc one last time (all the while checking “how are you doing?” “are you doing ok?”) and see the Muppet 3D movie. After the carousel and boardwalk games with my son who won his sister a big Dumbo (PROUD momma!) we headed back and called it a night.

The next day we boarded our plane and that’s when the fun really started!!
(To be cont..)

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