I am completely and utterly exhausted one week into my student teaching. The good news is that I love it! Student teaching is really one week of observing, getting the lay of the land, getting to know the students, getting a grasp on the classroom culture and schedule, helping here and there, jumping in to follow up on assignments/group work/etc etc. Little by little I’ll start taking over this or that until a month and a half – 2 months in I’ll be running the class for (gulp) three whole weeks.
This first week, though. Holy hairballs is it tiring. I have to get to the school early enough to go through the schedule with my host teacher, then discuss some plans, get the work ready for the kiddos, then we have a full day of school, then once the kids go home we debrief, plan for the next day, grade, help me work on my own school work which consists of lesson plans for the lesson plans (Don’t even get me started on this BS) and/or attend whatever building meetings are happening.
All in all this week I’ve worked (for free, mind you) 9-10hour days. Then I come home and make dinner and hang with the kids, then I have to get my school work done and by that time I go straight to bed. 5am It all starts over again.
I. Am. So. Fucking. Tired.
But the good news is that I do actually love it. I’m tired until a 5th grader asks me to help them figure out long division. (Ummm me. I’m the one helping someone else with math!) Even when I get it wrong and we laugh about my mistake and work backwards to figure out where the mistake was and rework the problem. It feels amazing. When a grumpy kid who thought they couldn’t write down a thought, with a little help, figures out how to get their idea onto paper, that feeling is golden, man. That makes the lack of sleep worth it. (she says as she yawns until her eyes water) When a savvy fifth grader thinks being grumpy with me will scare me away, but instead I make a joke that makes them laugh and let down that tough “wall” to the point where they will let me help them with multiplication.. that’s what keeps me feeling like I will be able to do this, and maybe even really well.
I loved interpreting. I loved working in classrooms and with kids and learning all the things every day. But interpreting was never my end goal. It was always something that was a bridge to something else. I have the greatest respect for Interpreters, but because of my own hang-ups with the language and my own step family, I never felt I was doing the actual job justice. The social part of working with students was always my favorite part. When I was interpreting, I always went into it kind of thinking I needed to figure out how to get through my days. Afterwards I would think there was so much more I could do, but frankly did not want to do all of the research and prep and workshops and studying.
This teaching stuff, though, I go in looking forward to seeing what challenges the kids will face, what I’ll be able to help them with, and I leave feeling like I made a difference and the kids wanted me there. I feel like I’m an asset to the teacher and the students. Most of all I feel 100% comfortable and excited to be doing it. It fits. Up until now I had to try and fit into what I could do. Stay at home mom, interpreter … now I’m using all of my experience in all of the different places I’ve worked, the different situations and kids I’ve worked with. I can draw on my own experiences with my own kids and their struggles with school. Especially my oldest.
It feels great to feel like what I’m doing is what I’m supposed to be doing. Now lets hope all of this prep work wont kill me first, so I can someday have my own class 🙂
8:03?! I’m off to bed, goodnight!
Sarcasmica 