All posts for the month September, 2017

Party Animals!

Published September 17, 2017 by sarcasmica

For my daughter’s 7th birthday party at home, we decided having wild animals in the house would be a great idea…. and also a petting zoo! (HA!) There’s a local company that brings animals to your house and hosts. ( Animals ) You can choose a theme of group of animals, or a la cart pets. I REALLY wanted goats, but alas… it was not my birthday party.

My daughter chose the Australian Theme. It was awesome! I’ve been collecting paper bags and figured there must be a way to make them into safari vests. I scanned pinterest and youtube and VOILA! Found an easy tutorial (after only about 3 searches) based on the type of vests I wanted to make, and the kind of bags I had.

Safari Vest Tutorial

Right as the kids came in, they decorated vests on my table cloth covered table 🙂 and grabbed a plastic “pith helmet” or for everyone normal, a safari hat. By the time the guests arrived, made the costumes, chit chatted and maybe grabbed a snack

Photo Sep 16, 3 56 56 PM.jpg

Then it was time to start the show.

We could have done the whole thing outside, but recently there have been terrible wildfires in Washington and the smoke was pretty bad on party day. We opted to squish everything into our entryway instead. This made it difficult for me to zip around quasi-unobtrusively to snap photos.

Photo Sep 16, 3 09 03 PM.jpg


Bearded Dragon


The bearded dragons were a big hit, and so chill!



Blue-Tongued Skink



Frilled Lizard



Displaying that awesome frill


Opal the wallaby is the hardest working momma around! This girl had a week(ish) old joey hidden away in her pouch. Imagine that! Going to work a week after having your baby, and then sit in a pen while little humans pet and poke at you while you eat your way through the ordeal. … oh wait… that’s all moms.

There were also sugar gliders and lots of snakes. I’m still trying to figure out my camera, so a lot of those shots were pretty blurry. The highlight of the show was the wrangler explaining how hard the sugar gliders are to have as pets as it peed all over her. The kids particularly liked that, the parents notsomuch.

We finished up with hand washing, pipe cleaner snake beading, snacks & cake. Oh, the most fun part was the photo op I had set up. It got a little lost among the excitement, but I wanted a place for the parents to get a fun pic of their kid at the party so I set up a ribbon curtain and had the kids hold a prop Jeep. I ended up taking the photos with my nikon, but the little safari adventurers seemed to get a kick out of it. I’m ending the post with the hilarious reality of party-crash with my own kids. I realized after everyone left that I did not manage a photo of my kids together with the Jeep. We attempted to do this after guests were gone, presents opened, sugar crash hit. Enjoy!


Bday girl wanted to hold the Jeep



Guess who was holding it?



Dad intervenes so “your mother can get a decent picture of you two”



The picture every mom hopes for!












Raving Lunatic

Published September 15, 2017 by sarcasmica

You know how they say you shouldnt go to bed angry?

They also say to sleep on it and not make a rash decision. It’ll all look better in the morning. 

This does not apply to social media. I’m fuming right now, but mostly at the power I have given Facebook to infuriate me. 

I’m speaking about the fucking community groups. That is the downfall of FB for me. You never know what morons reside in your community until you post something in a community group. It could be anything! There’s no formula! You know why? Because stupidity is random. It has no formula. You know what stupidity likes? Instant gratificashun. (See what i did there?)

What sets you off in an argument? For me it’s feeling dismissed based on an irrelevant fact or an untruth. Also, lack of insight. I work hard to try and see how others have to live. I try to appreciate things others may not experience. I dont want to judge because I dont want to have to endure your hardships to understand your plight. Everyone actually has their own path and if you disagree with a person’s life choice, you better be willing to walk on that path and take the same hits and bruises.

I hate self righteousness. No one knows what the fuck they are doing! You can have a plan and work hard to execute it, but you dont always have control! 

Today as the mob of parents stood at the bus stop, a teenager flew by on a dirt bike. The kid had no helmet, no license plate, no sense. We all looked at each other and just chuckled it off. Afterall, “teenagers”, am I right? 

The school bus makes it’s first stop down the road and kids exit. The motorcycle has reached the end of the adjoining street where the kids are now off the bus, and we hear him speeding back towards us. As the school bus is approaching our stop, the guy rounds the corner and starts to haul ass towards us and the braking bus. Myself and a dad step towards the biker and shout for him to slow down.

He rides past flipping us off, snickering, and mimicking slapping a horses rear as he flies back where he came from.

We all just looked at each other dumb-founded. The kids are now exiting the bus and we have no idea if he’s turning back around, so we hurry the kids across the road and onto the side walk. 

This was totally ridiculous and enfuriating and dangerous. 

Later I post on the neighborhood site regarding this, encouraging people to speak to this person if they know him, because it’s not safe to pull this crap in the middle of school bus drop off.

Enter town trolls.

This is where everyone wants to chime in and make their social statements based on a situation a-they did not witness and b-refuse to acknowledge. 

To their credit, the community began well intentioned and supportive, but there is a cap on that. Social media only allows a modicum of positivity. The rants soon began about teenagers being teenagers and uptight adults and the (sarcastic) horror of kids not staying indoors to play games and watch TV.

I eventually figured out I had the power to cancel comments. I also decided to not further jump down the rabbit hole. I left 2 community groups ans I feel better already. 

You can lead an idiot to logic, but you cant make him think. You know why? Because the idiots like to live in their own bubbles. 

I desperately want to be done with my rant. I do! Perhaps I will learn how to walk among the level-headed that roam the earth, away from Facebook. 

Rant complete. 

The Night Before

Published September 5, 2017 by sarcasmica

1st Day of school! 1st Day of School!!!

Y’all know i’m excited, right? Things around here have been quite busy and active the last few weeks. Between camping and back to school shopping, i’m just in survival mode. Today was supposed to be the epic last day of summer spectacular where we either lounge around the house all day playing video games and watching TV, or maybe take in a movie and gorge on popcorn and soda and all manner of Crap.

Neither happened.

I had scheduled an orthodontist appointment weeks ago assuming the kids would be back in school by now. Nope! So we got to spend our last day of summer running errands. Haircuts, orthodontist, backpack shopping, blah blah frickin blah.

Right now Washington state has declared a state of emergency for all of the fires currently burning. Our land is not amenable to late summer. The grass and trees demand regular sacrifices of rain in exchange for oxygen. This does not happen regularly in August (The ONLY month this does not regularly occur) so the land fights back in the form of fire, smoke and ash.

My son, who has long since been done with asthma, was coughing quite a bit this morning. I myself woke up with a face full of junk from sleeping with windows open all night.

The other kicker is that it’s been in the upper 80’s/low 90’s so the suckers who live here without air conditioning haven’t had a lot of choice but to open windows to cool off. This results in coughing, burning eyeballs, and all sorts of party behaviors.

So driving around with my anxious, agitated, coughing, bickering little heathens today was less than ideal.

I bought a giant bottle of spiced rum at target along with the backpack and notebook paper and I didn’t even feel guilty about it. My children were kind enough to maintain their bickering all throughout the line, so by the time we were done everyone wanted to share that bottle with me. Guilt alleviated.

After stifling my giddiness about the 1st day of school with irritation and annoyance at the bedtime antics, I finally dive into the gift bag of paperwork my daughter was sent home with at the meet the teacher night we had last week.

Guess what?! There was homework in there. Of COURSE there was! So now we get to start the school year off with, “Wake up! Hurry up and eat so you can do your homework.”

I also discovered the “What areas do you want us to work on with your child?” three page questionnaire.

I don’t think i’m gonna like this teacher much. … or maybe i’ll send her a nip of my spiced rum and she’ll cool her homework jets.

Happy 1st Day of School, moms !!!! We will never be so happy to wake up early to prepare food as we will be tomorrow.

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